confused and gullible

Some of my neighbors have been playing music for like the past four hours and it’s like mexican band music and while I have nothing specific against it I have something against it not letting me fall asleep, it sounds like it’s playing from inside my room! My window is closed and everything, I hope they get hearing problems cause I WANT TO GO TO SLEEP!

Tomorrow I will be graduating from high school.

And I don’t know, somehow it still hasn’t hit me, you know?
I still don’t see it happening…. And not because I suck at school and thought I would flunk out, but because I guess I still don’t feel ready…

I mean I truly can’t begin to picture myself in the real “grown-up” world…..

I mean I should be excited, shouldn’t I?
I should be so giddy and thankful and nervous to the point where I can’t fall asleep….
Especially considering I’m one of the students that’s going to give a speech, but I just , well I guess it must e some kind of shock, cause I can’t seem to muster up emotions and it’s kind of annoying…. And well yeah sorry if I sound whiny… I don’t normally post personal things,but this was bugging me and I thought maybe if I got it out there I would understand what the hell is wrong with my emotions and that somehow miraculously it would fix them and then I could wake up anxious and nervous and how any other graduate should feel if they’re giving a speech at their ceremony which basically stands for the closing point of all that mandatory education and opens up the road for self inflicted suffering (because we are masochists) of continuing to shove knowledge into our stubborn brains and make something of ourselves in the world…. And yeah this is long enough….. I’ll leave you with the rest of your night, thanks for reading if you got this far and well I hope everything is better tomorrow….. NIGHTY-NIGHT….

[P.S. sorry for whining I guess I should be thankful I am graduating and going on to college]